just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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