They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
