I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
