Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
