so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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