I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize