you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
