She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize