the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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