She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
