Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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