My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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