I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
