this will be a night to untag.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
