Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
