If that was your dad, he is hot
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I love having hate sex.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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