How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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