Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
