He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
FYI - Donāt go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I mean, who hasnāt been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
