I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
