Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
