i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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