Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
