My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
