When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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