doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
