bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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