I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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