32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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