brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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