yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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