I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
