I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
