Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
