well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
