physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
