I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
