So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
