my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
