The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
