i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
