I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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