I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I want to make a zoo with you.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
