Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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