She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
