I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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