he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
