If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize