and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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