If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
