Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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