I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
