Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
