I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
