if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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