kristin has been a bad kristin
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
