he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
