Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
