They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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