:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
