Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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