There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You've changed since you got that strap on
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
