I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
