I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Found your dick twin last night
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
